Day 4 of New Writing Habit
The past week since the last post I have been putting this time towards writing things directly related to certain projects (example: creating worksheets) but somehow this is an entirely different experience.
It’s not as creative, and definitely interferes with the habit. No more of that. 30 minutes of consistent blog post writing no matter what.
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Throughout our lives we accumulate beliefs, interpretations, perspectives…
But the problem is that 1) these are all subjective and 2) once beneficial beliefs or lifestyles often become extremely counterproductive, if they were ever useful at all.
I’ve decided to systematically work on shaping my beliefs in an intentional way, rather than having them merely be a reaction to my environment.
It takes only a few minutes of reflection to find internal beliefs that are either clearly negative or extremely outdated. Since beliefs often take years to internalize, even your self-image relates more to your past self than to as you currently are, which is a big problem for anyone who grows rapidly or lives an ever-changing lifestyle.
With minimal organization, here are a list of beliefs that I am trying to intentionally alter/refine/create/remove/etc. Clarifying explanations provided where relevant.
Choosing My Beliefs With Intention
Explanations: I have been listening to a really great audiobook called The Power of Vulnerability and it made me super uncomfortable as I realized I have intensely internalized a desire and tendency to never open up to people, even when it appears I am. I strive to be protected, invulnerable, strong, perfect, etc., and recently I have realized how this makes relationships very difficult. Here are beliefs to offset these tendencies to be less demanding of myself and others, and more emotionally vulnerable.
(It makes me uncomfortable even writing about it! Even writing the words “emotionally vulnerable” makes me feel like I am being weak.)
1. I don’t always have to be “strong” and being “strong” does not mean avoiding or denying my feeling. It is okay to be more open about my fears and anxieties.
2. While growth is essential, everyone is already “enough” as they are, myself included.
3. Vulnerability is a prerequisite for love, and I can only love someone as much as I love myself.
Success And The Good Life Beliefs
Explanation: I don’t see myself as “successful.” I don’t know why. Even though I have achieved so many things, I view the status of “success” and living the “good life” as reserved for some arbitrary point in the future. My best guess is that this arises from an unclear, mirage-like definition of these things which is always out of reach. These beliefs are meant to rectify this.
1. Every day is a beautiful day no matter “success.”
2. I am courageous – I go forward in spite of fear and uncertainty and without hesitation.
3. I believe “success” means being free to grow and spending one hour per day on a project that matters to me.
4. I believe failures of boldness are successes. True failure means failure of inaction or failing to learn and grow from a situation.
5. I believe that the good life means freedom of time (mostly) and location (mostly). More specifically – spending no more than four hours a day on things I don’t want to do to achieve that which I aspire to.
Beliefs About Relationships
Explanation: As an ambitious introvert who has trouble being emotionally vulnerable, it is super easy for me to invest 100% on achieving the unachievable “success” (see above) while ignoring relationships with other people. This is a terrible idea! I like learning from people who are more mature and experienced than myself, and they always emphasize the importance of their relationships above all else. This is something I am trying to learn from and more intentionally prioritize.
1. I believe happiness means loving others genuinely (practice glowing meditation).
2. I believe I can and should pursue deeper connections every day. I do not have to wait.
3. I believe I am loved because I feel love for other people. I am supported because I support other people.
Beliefs About My Purpose
Explanation: No one enjoys existential angst. The problem is often in the definition however. I (like many) have always aspired to “be a great man”, to “change the world”, and to “leave my mark.” Very cliche stuff, and no idea how that would look. So I sat down to define each of these terms because that is the only way to achieve them.
1. I believe significance means I help one person live a better life every day.
2. I believe feeling certainty means knowing I can grow and learn from any situation no matter what!
3. I believe that my form of greatness means having a great, balanced ocean of calm that exudes compassion and great internal strength. I believe cultivating this is one of the best possible uses of my time! I believe that to be great means to be free of ego, as freedom from pride is the most common trait of all great men I wish to emulate.
Beliefs To Nullify Self-Doubt
Explanation: Everyone has self-doubt at times. But I don’t want to wait for it to magically go away.
1. I believe I should be PROUD of myself when I exert my best effort – not just on work but on life and being a good person. I believe it is BULLSHIT to be stressed with things still on my to-do list.
2. I AM on the right path and doing the right thing. No more doubting (cure is goal setting). The dots WILL connect when i look back on my life – there doesn’t always need to be a plan.
Explanation: I attended a financial workshop recently, and realized that my beliefs about money were super f#$^ed up! I grew up in an environment of scarcity – bankruptcy, house foreclosed by the bank, “I don’t know how we are going to buy food this month,” that type of stuff. So I have this deep-seated feeling like I am about to run out. Of everything. I feel anxiety when I think about my finances, as if I was in my parent’s financial situation. None of this is based on reality of course, and it causes me to be overly conservative with my finances, even when it comes to investing in myself or my business.
1. I have an abundance of resources already.
2. Money is easy to create.
3. Money is drawn to me – I am a creator of wealth.
4. Investing in myself or my business is the best possible use of my resources.
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Part of my morning routine is to review these beliefs every morning, as a way of mentally rehearsing them to drive them home!
So far I have adopted them all at a superficial level, but I find in times of stress, fatigue, or self-doubt my old mental scripts start running automatically.
These things take time.
But I am excited to see where this will lead 🙂
What are beliefs you have about yourself, your life, or what is possible that are clearly holding you back from living the kind of life you desire, of being the kind of person you know you can be?
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– The Incredible TED Talk by Brené Brown – A serious *must watch*: The Power of Vulnerability
– Check out my related post on developing confidence, and not being afraid to be proud of yourself: How To Develop True Confidence